Stitches please...

It's Wednesday night. We need to go to Olivia's school to get an instrument for band. She picked the flute. I'm thinking Thank the Lord! that is one of the cheap ones. On the way there, Gensen, God love her, was bitchin cause she couldn't get one, Saige is cranky, tired and confused, well hell, I was too, and Olivia is yellin at everyone to stop. So this explains my state of mind, or lack of, when we get there.

So we make it too the band room, after several stops, Saige had to look at a locker, then run into the math room, then the science room, then the boys bathroom. I told Olivia to get her.

She hates me, I know she does.

So after several minutes of Olivia going in and coming out real fast, she finally gets the kid.

So we are in the band room, first ones there. That is surprising, we are always late. Well this nice man sits us down, well me and Olivia, I made Gensen play "what is Saige going to destroy?" So he asks Olivia what she was going to play. She told him and he brings the nice shiny flute and all the crap that goes with it over. Then he pulls out his shiny little calculator.

My heart starts beatin a little faster.

Then he shows me the renters contract.

My heart just explodes....

$715 for a FLUTE!!!! I've bought flippin CARS for that much!

So I think, ok this is an investment.

Then I see the interest......after paying for this baby, speakin of babies I didn't pay that much to have kids! We will have coughed up $964 and some change for this flute!

So with my hand shakin I write out a check for the first months rent and the book and the cleanin kit and the music stand. All the time I'm thinkin Micah is going to kill me...and what is soooooo flippin WRONG with choir!!!

So after herdin my precious children outta that damn place, I make a phone call to Micah.

"Hi, we just got Olivia's flute."

"That's good. What did it wind up being?"

hmmmm should I totally LIE or tell him the God aweful truth?

"Well, by the time we pay it off we could've paid rent and bought another car."

SILENCE

shit..."Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm just wondering what to hurt on you first."

"Well I didn't wanna to play the damn thing."

"You SIGNED for it!"

"Maybe I could find a cheaper one, and take this one back, he said something about 3 months, I think, my mind was kinda whirlin, like on that one ride that goes round and then the little car goes round with you in it."

"What? Just find a cheaper one."

So we make it home and Olivia immediately gets everything out. I'm yellin at her not to hurt it, treat it like a little baby, no treat it like your hair, no JUST TREAT IT LIKE I WILL SEVERELY HURT YOUR BODY IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THAT FLUTE!!!!!!!

"Gessh MOM I think I am responsible enough to take care of a flute, it's not that hard, and I can be careful, REALLY CAREFUL!!"

About that time she closes her music stand on Saige's finger...

Hence the stitches.

She actually didn't need them, but it was bleedin like a slaughtered hog. Blood was on her, me, the floor, the precious music stand, everywhere.

So after a frantic call to Micah saying that I'm rushin to the ER, I calmed down and looked at it real good. It was U shaped and not real deep. She just kept hittin it and makin it bleed more. And it was really bruised, bad. So she wouldn't keep a bandaid on it. So I got some of that handy glue stuff and that worked very well. Well, after I faught with a wigglin 2 year old to get it on.

And then I had to go stroke Olivia's ego....no you're not stupid, it was an accident, HELL NO you are not going to not play that flute! You WILL play it! I wanna hear it at my funeral damn it! And yours too! I wanna smile down from up there and say yes that was a very good investment I made, cause your kids will be playin it too!

Fireworks.
Saige HATES them. We were all at the park getting ready for the BIG show. Then swish, BOOM! She freaks OUT! Comes running for me and dives in my lap. So the rest of the time I am holding her head against my chest and the other hand against her ear. She is looking at me like I'm putting her through torture at Alcatraz.

We went to the lake this weekend. Yep more fuckin fireworks. I had to take her for a drive to put her to sleep every night and then judge when the damn things were goin to go off and run like a mad woman to the camper, to get her safely inside.
I hate fireworks too.

My hubby and his brother and the other goons we were down there with, decided to shoot off more fireworks one night. It was going fine til Micah tried to take out my cousin's $20,000 poontoon, and then thier camper. So he was done. Then Steve shoots one off and it goes up, hits a tree and explodes right by us. Showers of hot shit coming down. By gas tanks. Yip-flippin-yee. So I tell them to stop. We are just not meant to shoot off fireworks right now.
nope. they continue. dumbasses.
I'm not sure which one set the next one off. But it goes up comes down fast and lands on the neighbors roof. We are waiting in silence. Yep it goes the fuck off and then the roof starts smoking.
We done yet!?
Did I mention that I now hate fireworks?

What mom? This?

Why is it that kids totally act stupid? Like for instance yesterday I asked Gensen, my 8 year old, to pick up a kleenex off of the floor and throw it away.

She looks right at the kleenex and then away looking all around.
"I don't see it mom!"
" It's right there where you looked a minute ago."
She goes to the table and picks up a piece of paper. "This?"
"No, not that the kleenex on the floor that you just looked at."
So she then looks around again and shrugs her shoulders.
"Gensen it's right THERE!" I take her and bend her down to see it.
"oh that kleenex!"
By this time I could have picked up the kleenex, threw out the food that is growing nuclear waste, and loaded the dish washer.

I should of had cats.I could've been a cat lady.